Tag: psychology

Book: Dr. Sandi Mann “Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter?”

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I’m 45 years old. And I’ve achieved nothing.

Even though many people around me say I’m a successful and competent leader. But they just don’t get it—I’ve just been lucky.

…Those could have easily been my words. And to be honest, I’ve definitely had moments like that, especially during the harder times. But this is exactly how many people feel—and scientists have even come up with a name for it: imposter syndrome.

At some point, people start to believe that they don’t deserve the praise or reputation they’ve earned. In their own minds, their achievements feel like occasional flukes—definitely not the result of their own talent or hard work. And this feeling is only becoming more common. Studies show that up to 70% of people now experience imposter syndrome to some degree, including both adults and teenagers.

Technically, “imposter syndrome” isn’t classified as a mental disorder—it’s not considered an illness. And when the majority of people seem to be dealing with it, it’s hard to say whether it even counts as a deviation from the norm.

Sandi Mann’s book Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter? explores this exact phenomenon. And while the Russian edition’s subtitle promises to help you “stop downplaying your success and constantly proving your worth to yourself and others,” the truth is this book likely won’t solve the problem for those dealing with this mindset. The original subtitle is a bit different: “How to understand and cope with imposter syndrome”.

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Book: Darrell Huff “How to Lie with Statistics”

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Darrell Huff spent most of his life as a journalist and writer, yet he gained worldwide fame as an expert in statistics. This recognition came thanks to his most successful book, How to Lie with Statistics, written back in 1954 but still relevant to this day. At least, publishers continue to successfully reprint it time and again.

The entire tone of the book can be summarized with its very first epigraph, which quotes Benjamin Disraeli: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

No, the author does not try to portray statistics as a terrible or useless science. Instead, in a light and ironic manner, he explains what many people perceive as infernal mathematical gibberish. He also demonstrates how numbers can be used to manipulate opinions and the perception of information.

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Book: Elena Rezanova “Never-ever”

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“Midlife crisis.” A cliché term that encompasses many things but most commonly refers to a moment somewhere in the middle of life (since each person has a sense of how long they think they’ll live), when many start asking themselves questions like “Have I been heading in the right direction all this time?” or “What’s the purpose of it all?” The real problem isn’t the questions themselves but the fear that the most productive years of life may already be behind them. And people who start asking these questions essentially trap themselves, especially if they’re unhappy with their current situation or it simply no longer brings them joy (which, in essence, is the same thing). Getting out of this psychological dead end is very challenging.

Elena Rezanova’s book Never-ever is precisely about this situation and what can be done about it. Elena worked for many years in HR (the Russian language still lacks an equivalent for the English term “Human Resources,” but these are people who theoretically help employees develop, can serve as a psychological “shoulder to cry on,” and also resolve interpersonal conflicts in the workplace). At some point, however, she and her husband realized that their reasonably successful careers no longer brought joy to either of them. They decided to make a radical change, something neither of them has regretted, as they found new, fulfilling pursuits that continue to bring them happiness.

I had marked this book as “something I’d like to read” a while ago, as that very same midlife crisis eventually caught up with me as well (even though I have a wonderful family and have achieved a lot in my career).

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Book: Maxim Dorofeev “The Jedi Way”

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Three years ago, also in November, I wrote a review of Maxim Dorofeev’s book Jedi Techniques. In it, Maxim aimed to consolidate the essence of his time-management training. The book was very good, although it didn’t reinvent the wheel. Now, Maxim has released its follow-up, The Jedi Way.

However, calling it a sequel isn’t quite accurate. The new book is more a reflection on his earlier advice and a re-evaluation of his own methods. In this way, I actually liked it even more than the first.

As I mentioned, in the first book, Maxim compiled what he considered the best elements from numerous methods. He amusingly illustrated these concepts through the characters of a rational little person and a monkey, supposedly living in our heads and competing for our attention and time. These characters were borrowed from Tim Urban, and they fit seamlessly into the narrative.

However, these were largely well-known techniques and tips from other methods. Maxim simply brought them together and presented them in an appealing way.

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Book: Viktor E. Frankl “Man’s Search For Meaning”

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I continue reading books about the experience (though calling it “life” is impossible) in Nazi death camps. This time, I’ve taken up a short but well-known book by world-renowned psychologist Viktor Frankl. When he was sent to a concentration camp, he tried to hide the manuscript of his book, but he couldn’t save it. So, he began gathering insights and “writing” the book in his mind and secretly on scraps of paper, as a way to hold onto sanity amidst the horrors of the camp and to find something to cling to—something to survive for.

When he was finally liberated, he quickly recorded all he had reflected on during those horrific years in the form of a book, which he initially didn’t even want to publish under his real name, though he was eventually persuaded otherwise. In 1946, the book was published as Man’s Search for Meaning.

Although Viktor Frankl lived many more years, passing away in 1997 at the age of 92, this book is considered one of his greatest works.

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Book: “Dealing with Difficult People”

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Sometimes, I read individual articles from Harvard Business Review and even posted one on my blog (Misconceptions about Feedback). They also publish books that compile several articles on specific topics, organized into sub-series.

I decided to read one from the Emotional Intelligence series, titled Dealing with Difficult People, as this topic has interested me for several years. The book includes eight articles by seven authors. It’s not very thick (around 150 pages), and with a more modest font size, it would be even slimmer.

As the title and description suggest, the main theme of the book is dealing with difficult people, those under stress, and troublesome colleagues.

On one hand, it’s a collection of very short articles, and I wouldn’t say each one is revolutionary or highly valuable. On the other hand, it’s brief and to the point, unlike many business writers who often stretch a single idea over 300 pages.

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Book: Susan Cain “Quiet”

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I remember, during my childhood, there was a period when I became very interested in various tests, even collecting them in a separate notebook. It all started with Eysenck’s temperament test, where people were categorized as choleric, sanguine, melancholic, or phlegmatic. But Eysenck had another test, which, by the way, overlapped significantly with his temperament test—the introversion-extroversion test.

Who are introverts and extroverts? There are actually a huge number of scientific interpretations, and they sometimes differ in the details. But I’ll try to explain in simple terms.

Introverts are generally rather reserved people; they tend to focus on their inner world. They are usually not very sociable, feel uncomfortable in public or in large groups, and would prefer an evening with a book to a party.

Extroverts are the opposite of introverts 😉 They enjoy being in the spotlight, often becoming the life of the party, have a large number of friends and acquaintances, and are very sociable.

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Mark Manson “Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope”

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Mark Manson caught my attention right from the first book of his that I read, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, which I discussed previously. Mark is 36, a popular blogger, and recently an acclaimed author.

He has a fairly cynical outlook on the world, yet he presents this perspective with a sharp and interesting style. We’ve read about not caring in his first book; the new one shocks right from the title, setting the tone with Everything is F*cked, while the subtitle complicates it further: A Book About Hope.

Like the first book, this one drew me in from the start, though I hit a point where I stalled, setting it aside and only returning a month later.

It’s hard to pinpoint a central theme in this book. It seems to build on the previous ideas that you should keep things simple, that the world can’t be changed, but you can change yourself. Yet it doesn’t feel entirely cohesive. Manson structures the narrative so one idea flows into the next, but afterward, you realize the connections don’t hold together that tightly. At least, I found the connection too artificial. Still, this doesn’t stop the book from being good.

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Asya Kazantseva “The Brain is Material”

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mozg-materialen

Asya Kazantseva made a rapid entrance into the world of popular science in 2013 with her first book, Who Would Have Thought! While she had been involved in science popularization earlier, it was the release of this book that catapulted her to megastar status as an author of popular science literature. The book instantly became a bestseller, receiving praise and recommendations from the scientific community. What set it apart was its accessibility — it was easy to read, and even those far removed from science could grasp the ideas and conclusions with ease. The language wasn’t the typical dry, academic tone but rather felt like a close friend explaining complex ideas, sprinkled with humor. In Who Would Have Thought!, Kazantseva explored the science behind our bad habits, seasonal mood changes, and the “chemistry of love.” The book quickly won the “Enlightener” award for its contribution to popular science, and I was absolutely thrilled by it, recommending it to all my friends.

A couple of years later, her second book, Someone on the Internet is Wrong, was published. This time, Asya focused on hot-button topics that spark fierce debates online: vaccines, GMOs, homeopathy, and the mortality of HIV. While this book also became a bestseller, I personally found it slightly weaker than the first. And then, in 2019, her third book, The Brain is Material, was released.

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Sasha Galitsky “Don’t Be Afraid!”

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I can’t say I was over the moon about Sasha Galitsky‘s first book, Mama, Don’t Worry!, but it offered a very interesting perspective on aging, with unconventional thoughts and advice. It was definitely worth reading, and I even added it to my recommended list.

Almost immediately after, I found out that Sasha had written a second book on the same theme—Don’t Be Afraid! But this time, instead of talking about how to get along with the elderly, he focuses on how not to fear aging yourself, as reflected in the subtitle: How to Grow Old Without Losing Your Mind.

The first book was based on the author’s blog posts, which was quite noticeable, but the second book really disappointed me. It feels like an attempt to recycle the same theme and material for a second time.

Once again, it’s filled with brief sketches and thoughts, presented in the form of micro-chapters. It even seems like the thoughts were written first, and only later was there an attempt to come up with clever titles for them.

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