Tag: psychology

Asya Kazantseva “Where Do Children Come From?”

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Asya Kazantseva is one of the most well-known popularizers of science. Her first published book Who Would Have Thought! literally blew up the market — it was so unconventional, since Asya spoke about complicated things in fairly simple language, with plenty of good humor. I myself was wildly enthusiastic, and so I gladly went on to read her next two books. After that, Asya disappeared from the public sphere as a writer for a while, though she continued to give many live lectures. And in 2023 her fourth book was released, titled Where Do Children Come From?

Here Asya stepped away from her favorite topics, deciding to talk about the myths and realities of pregnancy and childbirth. All the more so since she had tested it not only in theory but also in practice, having given birth to a daughter. She approached the topic as thoroughly as always, having studied a large amount of material long before her pregnancy.

And although, as usual, I made many notes while reading, for a very long time I couldn’t bring myself to start writing a review of this book. Because Asya’s second and third books were already somewhat weaker than the first, but this fourth one seemed to me the dullest. And the first one that I have absolutely no desire to recommend.

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Book: Lyudmila Zotova “How to Raise a Bilingual Child and Stay Sane”

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In 2014 the topic of bilingualism suddenly became relevant for me. That was the year my family moved to another country, and the children suddenly had to immerse themselves in a school environment not only with a completely different language but also with a different culture. And while one can still argue about the bilingualism of the children who moved with us (although for all of them English has already become more widely used than their original native Russian), with the younger ones, born in Cyprus, there is no question at all.

That is why, observing the development of all the children, I increasingly asked myself how we could help them in mastering several languages, what peculiarities there are, and whether we as parents are doing everything right. And then, at Sandermoen Publishing, a book by Lyudmila Zotova was released under the title How to Raise a Bilingual Child and Stay Sane. I was curious to look at another person’s experience and opinion and perhaps find answers to the questions that troubled me.

Lyudmila’s case is considerably more complicated than mine. She is married to an Italian, lives in France, but in a region near the German border, where the population also speaks German. In relation to her daughter one can already speak not of bilingualism but of tri- or even tetralingualism. However, while her daughter will easily learn the surrounding languages simply through immersion, with the mother’s native language there were peculiarities. And Lyudmila asked herself how to ensure that her daughter would know Russian.

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Book: Timur Aslanov “I Know What to Tell Them”

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On the recommendation of a good acquaintance, Anton Vert, I read Timur Aslanov’s book I Know What to Tell Them. In the blurb, the author promises to explain how to deal with negative comments about you, your company, and your products online. To do this, he introduces the concepts of the “Light Knight” and the “Dark Knight.” The latter is ready to act tough, respond rudely, and wipe out comments he doesn’t like. However, the greatest benefit comes from the “Light Knight,” who constantly monitors his emotional intelligence and knows how to respond to the substance rather than the tone.

My direct work has never involved responding to user comments; more often I’ve been on the other side of the barricades — and I’ll admit that at times I can be overly emotional in voicing my criticisms. Still, I’ve always tried not to stoop to personal attacks or mudslinging just for the sake of it.

At the same time, I’m active on social media, I have my own blog, and sometimes my position or certain statements can provoke negativity — both from subscribers and from people who just happened to drop by. So I was curious what exactly Timur Aslanov might advise, especially after such a strong recommendation from someone I know.

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Book: Robert A. Heinlein “Orphans of the Sky”

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Well, since we’re on a classics streak, after the Soviet Those Who Survive it’s time to talk about Robert A/ Heinlein’s novel Orphans of the Sky.

Originally, the book was written as two separate parts, published independently as novellas in Astounding Science Fiction magazine back in 1941: Universe and Common Sense. Only twenty years later, in 1963, were the two novellas published together as a single work under the title Orphans of the Sky. Russian readers know the book as Stepsons of the Universe, as it was rendered as Stepsons by its first Russian translator, Yuri Zarakhovich.

For Soviet readers, the novel was first published in Zarakhovich’s translation in 1977 (incidentally, the year I was born), serialized across five issues of Vokrug Sveta (Around the World) magazine. I don’t know the exact reason, but for that magazine publication Zarakhovich produced an abridged translation. Nevertheless, it was this version that became the canonical one for many years and continued to be reprinted right up until 2003. Only in 2003 did a complete Russian translation of the novel appear, by Elena Belyaeva and Alexander Mityushkin. Neither of them were professional translators, yet their work still received an award. In addition to restoring the full text, they also slightly revised some terminology that had become “familiar” over decades of reprints of Zarakhovich’s version.

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Book: Kir Bulychev “Those Who Survive”

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Kir Bulychev is most often regarded as a children’s science-fiction writer. When people hear his name, the first thing that usually comes to mind is the adventures of Alisa Selezneva.

However, Kir Bulychev wrote many works that are anything but children’s literature. Among them, probably the most well-known is the novel Those Who Survive, originally published in Russian under the title Posyolok (The Settlement in English). Initially, Bulychev wrote only the first part of the story, titled The Pass, which was published as a standalone novella in 1980. Only eight years later, in 1988, he wrote the second part, Beyond the Pass, and only then did the book become a single novel known as Posyolok.

The story is built around a spaceship that crashed on a distant planet many years ago. The planet is not exactly hostile; rather, it is simply what an alien world should be — not Earth. It has its own flora and fauna, which were never meant to coexist with humans. As a result, survival is extremely difficult for the crash survivors. The entire world is against them, and after the catastrophe almost none of the technological marvels of the future remain. Those who avoided immediate death are forced to focus solely on survival in this unwelcoming environment — and even that does not always succeed.

Over the years, they have become increasingly primitive in terms of everyday life, yet they have learned how to survive. Children born on this planet know nothing of any other life; they learn about it only through lessons in the small school of the Settlement. Even those who were born before the crash were very young at the time and remember almost nothing of life “before.”

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Book: Patrick Lencioni “The Truth About Employee Engagement”

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Among some of my colleagues, it became fashionable to poke fun at Patrick Lencioni, since at one point he was practically turned into a cult figure. Nevertheless, I “got hooked” on his books from the very first one I read — a book I’ve now gone through almost three times. And all the others consistently earn the highest praise from me as well. For me, he’s probably business author number one — the writer whose books every manager should have on their desk.

In his book The Truth About Employee Engagement: A Fable About Addressing the Three Root Causes of Job Misery, written in Lencioni’s signature genre of the business fable, Patrick touches on the topic of job satisfaction.

All of us work in one way or another. And those who don’t “go” to work are most likely doing work at home: taking care of children, feeding the family, keeping things in order. That’s work too.

And sometimes people don’t even realize how sick and tired they’ve grown of their daily routine, how reluctant they’ve become to deal with it. A lack of motivation leads to falling engagement, productivity, and proactivity. And it’s unlikely that any leader wants their team — and their product — to be, at best, mediocre, if not outright sliding into a hole.

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Book: Oksana Korzun “How to Move to Another Country and Not Die of Homesickness”

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I can’t really call myself a person with vast experience in moving. Relocating from one apartment to another within the same city is an interesting experience, but it’s hardly something global. However, dropping everything and moving to another country — that I’ve done only once. And even then, my move was relatively easy, since I wasn’t moving into the unknown, but simply transferring to another office of my company. And the company — huge thanks to them — helped so much that I barely had to think about the process at all. Still, in 2014 my wife and I, along with our three children, moved to an entirely different country, and I learned a few things about what such a transition means.

On top of that, because of my job I’ve always communicated a lot with foreigners, and after 2010 that kind of interaction only grew — including business trips. That’s when I began to notice the cultural differences more clearly and look for ways to bridge them.

Unfortunately, after 2020, many of my fellow citizens were forced to leave their homeland. And in 2022, the brutal war with Ukraine made many people flee anywhere they could, sometimes leaving part of their families behind. Questions about moving — how to do it properly, what to expect — began to come up more and more often. I started keeping a separate document about the specifics of moving to Cyprus (in Russian) and tried to advise people who had already relocated or were just planning to.

And in those conversations, many recurring themes came up — some of which left me at a loss, because I simply didn’t expect to hear them from people planning to move abroad. Probably because I’ve always taken every matter too seriously, never making decisions without preparing thoroughly and learning everything I could. But not everyone is as crazy as I am.

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Book: Mark Manson “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty”

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Eight years ago, blogger Mark Manson explained to the whole world that living with a sense of not giving a damn is actually the best option — even an art. No need to stress about things. Later, he developed this idea further, clarifying that if you’re still stressing, then it’s absolutely pointless, because really “Everything Is F*cked.”

However, he began his writing career with completely different topics: he explained to men how to properly land a woman. What for many years has been called pickup in the pickup artist community, though in his advice he went much further. Later he slightly reworked this book.

Since I liked his writing style in the first two books, I decided to read this one as well — though to be honest, the subject doesn’t concern me much these days, when I have a wife and five children. But it turned out that the book is not at all what you would expect from its title and annotation.

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Books Worth Reading (2017–2022)

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I am sometimes asked which books I would recommend reading. For the blog, this is generally not difficult — it’s enough to open all posts with the tag “I-recommend.” But since it’s been almost five years now since I revived my blog and began writing about the books I’ve read, I decided to put together a selection of non-fiction books I’ve read during this time that fall into the category of “you must read them.”

I have already written detailed reviews of all these books, so this time I’ve selected only the very best, grouped them by topic. For each book I give only brief recommendations on why they are worth reading, but you can always open the link to the full review. I hope this will be useful to someone. So, let’s begin.

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Dirty and Politically Incorrect ’80s

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I remember that in my childhood in the USSR, there was a craze for aerobics that came from the ‘decaying’ West. Various courses were released, special programs aired on TV, even records were issued with music and exercises. But even back then, as a teenager, I had my doubts that everyone was getting into this sport purely for the sake of sport—especially the men.

Time passed, the craze faded, but it was replaced by yoga, CrossFit, and other things like Pilates, which shall not be named.

What’s interesting is that even today many still perceive aerobics as an excuse to watch attractive women—not exactly with sporting intentions. But if in the 1980s this was seen as a manifestation of self-expression and liberation, now such views and videos could very well get you charged with harassment. O tempora! O mores!

And back then they even made movies—with young John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis. And no one went to jail, surprisingly. Even though it reeks of objectification of women, disregard for African Americans, and a bunch of other things.

So maybe the USSR was right about the decaying West after all.