Mark Manson caught my attention right from the first book of his that I read, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, which I discussed previously. Mark is 36, a popular blogger, and recently an acclaimed author.
He has a fairly cynical outlook on the world, yet he presents this perspective with a sharp and interesting style. We’ve read about not caring in his first book; the new one shocks right from the title, setting the tone with Everything is F*cked, while the subtitle complicates it further: A Book About Hope.
Like the first book, this one drew me in from the start, though I hit a point where I stalled, setting it aside and only returning a month later.
It’s hard to pinpoint a central theme in this book. It seems to build on the previous ideas that you should keep things simple, that the world can’t be changed, but you can change yourself. Yet it doesn’t feel entirely cohesive. Manson structures the narrative so one idea flows into the next, but afterward, you realize the connections don’t hold together that tightly. At least, I found the connection too artificial. Still, this doesn’t stop the book from being good.
One of the main ideas in the book is that the simpler life becomes, the unhappier we tend to feel. And only hope and faith nourish us and keep us from breaking down.
Mark then dives into discussions about the “Thinking” and “Feeling” brains, exploring how they’re interconnected and either support or hinder each other. These concepts resonated with me, especially after recently reading The Brain is Material by Asya Kazantseva. Through the same metaphors about two types of brains, he offers a clear and interesting explanation of the structures of cults and religions, using a course called “Build Your Own Cult” as an example.
These metaphors also help him explain why people may fall into self-doubt and depression or, conversely, into a strong sense of divine selection—both, in reality, symptoms of insecurity.
Faith, he argues, is always necessary. It’s a value that will keep us afloat and push us forward. But Mark insists we shouldn’t rely on hope; instead, we should just be. Not hoping for better but rather becoming and being better ourselves.
Overall, this book again evokes various emotions, creating a real storm. I think that’s what I love most about Mark Manson’s books: he doesn’t so much teach as he makes you think and experience that tension between agreement and disagreement with his views.
I don’t regret reading it at all.
My rating: 4/5
Selected quotes:
Basically, we are the safest and most prosperous humans in the history of the world, yet we are feeling more hopeless than ever before. The better things get, the more we seem to despair. It’s the paradox of progress. And perhaps it can be summed up in one startling fact: the wealthier and safer the place you live, the more likely you are to commit suicide.
It used to be that being the victim of violence meant somebody had physically harmed you. Today, many people have begun to use the word violence to describe words that made them feel uncomfortable, or even just the presence of a person they disliked. Trauma used to mean specifically an experience so severe that the victim could not continue to function. Today, an unpleasant social encounter or a few offensive words are considered “trauma,” and necessitate “safe spaces.” Genocide used to mean the physical mass murder of a certain ethnic or religious group. Today, the term white genocide is employed by some to lament the fact that the local diner now lists some of its menu items in Spanish.
This is the Blue Dot Effect. The better things get, the more we perceive threats where there are none, and the more upset we become. And it is at the heart of the paradox of progress.
Don’t hope.
Don’t despair, either.
In fact, don’t deign to believe you know anything. It’s that assumption of knowing with such blind, fervent, emotional certainty that gets us into these kinds of pickles in the first place.
Don’t hope for better. Just be better.
Be something better. Be more compassionate, more resilient, more humble, more disciplined.
Many people would also throw in there “Be more human,” but no—be a better human. And maybe, if we’re lucky, one day we’ll get to be more than human.
[…] Eight years ago, blogger Mark Manson explained to the whole world that living with a sense of not giving a damn is actually the best option — even an art. No need to stress about things. Later, he developed this idea further, clarifying that if you’re still stressing, then it’s absolutely pointless, because really “Everything Is F*cked.” […]