I remember, during my childhood, there was a period when I became very interested in various tests, even collecting them in a separate notebook. It all started with Eysenck’s temperament test, where people were categorized as choleric, sanguine, melancholic, or phlegmatic. But Eysenck had another test, which, by the way, overlapped significantly with his temperament test—the introversion-extroversion test.
Who are introverts and extroverts? There are actually a huge number of scientific interpretations, and they sometimes differ in the details. But I’ll try to explain in simple terms.
Introverts are generally rather reserved people; they tend to focus on their inner world. They are usually not very sociable, feel uncomfortable in public or in large groups, and would prefer an evening with a book to a party.
Extroverts are the opposite of introverts 😉 They enjoy being in the spotlight, often becoming the life of the party, have a large number of friends and acquaintances, and are very sociable.
So, when I was recommended Susan Cain’s book titled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, I couldn’t resist. Why? Because I’m an introvert. Strangely, this statement surprises many of my friends. For some reason, they can’t believe it. But it’s true: as a child, I preferred staying home with a book rather than running around outside. I was terribly afraid to sneeze in public transportation and draw attention to myself. And talking to a stranger, even just asking something on the street, felt scarier than A Nightmare on Elm Street. Nowadays, though, many tests show that I’m more of an ambivert—a type of person with roughly equal traits of both introverts and extroverts. I’m not sure if that’s true or something acquired, but the fact remains: naturally more reserved, the career I chose forced me to adapt to an extroverted world, which led me to develop learned extroversion skills. That’s why many of my acquaintances who didn’t know me as a child are now sometimes surprised.
Different personality types exhibit different behaviors. There’s no concept of one being better than the other. However, for many decades, society and the image of success have been associated with traits more typical of extroverts—mainly because extroverts are more noticeable, I suppose. And the image of a reserved thinker has always been portrayed as a kind of unsuccessful nerd. The extrovert—now that’s a true alpha!
In her book, Susan Cain tries to delve into the differences between these two personality types, showing through experimental results that this trait is almost hardwired from birth, though upbringing can modify it. She also reflects on what it means to “be an introvert” in today’s world. For instance, in the Western world, there’s a huge emphasis on communication skills, and the education system there is even built around it. However, communication is much harder for introverts, so they’re often labeled as “difficult” students in schools. Another example, I quote:
We perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types—even though gradepoint averages and SAT and intelligence test scores reveal this perception to be inaccurate. In one experiment in which two strangers met over the phone, those who spoke more were considered more intelligent, better looking, and more likable. We also see talkers as leaders. The more a person talks, the more other group members direct their attention to him, which means that he becomes increasingly powerful as a meeting goes on. It also helps to speak fast; we rate quick talkers as more capable and appealing than slow talkers.
All of this would be fine if more talking were correlated with greater insight, but research suggests that there’s no such link.
Unfortunately, this trend is also transferring into the business world:
“In my old company,” Lavoie told Berns, “if you had a great idea, we would tell you, ‘OK, we’ll make an appointment for you to address the murder board’ ”—a group of people charged with vetting new ideas. Marino described what happened next:
Some technical guy comes in with a good idea. Of course questions are asked of that person that they don’t know. Like, “How big’s the market? What’s your marketing approach? What’s your business plan for this? What’s the product going to cost?”
It’s embarrassing. Most people can’t answer those kinds of questions. The people who made it through these boards were not the people with the best ideas. They were the best presenters.
And further:
Supporting Drucker’s claim, Brigham Young University management professor Bradley Agle studied the CEOs of 128 major companies and found that those considered charismatic by their top executives had bigger salaries but not better corporate performance.
I have no intention of belittling extroverts. They have many wonderful qualities. Moreover, different personality types are better or worse suited for different types of tasks, and this is also discussed in the book.
What’s strange for me, though, is that in examining such examples, the author somehow gradually starts steering readers not toward the “proper use of one’s best personality traits,” nor toward reevaluating values in this world. Instead, she repeatedly shows that adapting one’s behavior towards extroversion is generally not a bad thing. At least, that’s how I perceived many of her examples.
As an introvert, I completely agree with the author’s conclusions about the overvaluation of communication skills. Introverts can express their thoughts well, but it’s easier for them to do it “on paper” than in person, where they can sometimes feel shy and get flustered. The research examples in the book also make a compelling case that the currently popular open spaces (large workspaces where everyone works together) are a nightmare for introverts, with their productivity plummeting in such conditions.
Another unexpected conclusion is that brainstorming sessions, which are so popular these days, tend to become less effective as the number of participants increases.
Psychologists usually offer three explanations for the failure of group brainstorming. The first is social loafing: in a group, some individuals tend to sit back and let others do the work. The second is production blocking: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. And the third is evaluation apprehension, meaning the fear of looking stupid in front of one’s peers.
Yet they remain popular because of the “sense of belonging.”
But enough with examples! Let’s discuss the pros and cons of the book.
It’s undeniably an excellent resource for understanding the nature and differences between introverts and extroverts. The book offers good examples of how the extrovert image dominates in modern society. There’s a decent (though somewhat shallow) analysis of the pros and cons of each type in life and business. The first third of the book is highly engaging.
However, as it progresses, the book increasingly fills with anecdotal stories about celebrities, which add little to the main idea reflected in the book’s title.
Moreover, some of the “celebrities” chosen as examples are quite ambiguous. The most notable is the recent meme-worthy figure, Tony Robbins. Yes, the very one who, in the Russian Wikipedia, has “scammer” listed next to “business coach” (I checked the English version, and there’s no mention of scamming there). The author praises him so passionately, yet without the hype, it’s unclear what he’s actually admired for. He is the quintessential example of a charismatic extrovert with nothing behind the flashy exterior. Yet, the author holds him up as a model to aspire to?
The closer to the end, the more tedious the narrative becomes. And, crucially, the author never answers the question of what traits introverts should develop or how. It’s interesting to read, to identify traits that apply to you, to reflect on what might be holding you back… but the book ultimately offers no real conclusions or recommendations.
Aside from, “I’ve always been an introvert too, but I pulled myself together, went to Tony Robbins and a bunch of other coaches, and now I’m awesome.” This isn’t what I personally expected from the book.
My rating: 3/5
