I’m 45 years old. And I’ve achieved nothing.
Even though many people around me say I’m a successful and competent leader. But they just don’t get it—I’ve just been lucky.
…Those could have easily been my words. And to be honest, I’ve definitely had moments like that, especially during the harder times. But this is exactly how many people feel—and scientists have even come up with a name for it: imposter syndrome.
At some point, people start to believe that they don’t deserve the praise or reputation they’ve earned. In their own minds, their achievements feel like occasional flukes—definitely not the result of their own talent or hard work. And this feeling is only becoming more common. Studies show that up to 70% of people now experience imposter syndrome to some degree, including both adults and teenagers.
Technically, “imposter syndrome” isn’t classified as a mental disorder—it’s not considered an illness. And when the majority of people seem to be dealing with it, it’s hard to say whether it even counts as a deviation from the norm.
Sandi Mann’s book Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter? explores this exact phenomenon. And while the Russian edition’s subtitle promises to help you “stop downplaying your success and constantly proving your worth to yourself and others,” the truth is this book likely won’t solve the problem for those dealing with this mindset. The original subtitle is a bit different: “How to understand and cope with imposter syndrome”.
First and foremost, the author breaks down what imposter syndrome actually is, how it manifests, and what cultural and social factors contribute to it.
Most “impostors” are convinced that their achievements aren’t truly theirs. At the same time, they’re terrified of admitting it, afraid that one day they’ll be exposed as frauds. That’s why many of them end up overworking—pushing themselves to the limit just to keep proving, over and over again, that they’re “worthy.” The problem is, even when they do achieve success, they never really accept it. They see it as pure luck, a fortunate coincidence, or the result of a great team—anything but their own merit. It’s easy for me to write about this because I’ve gone through something very similar myself. I know exactly how that inner voice constantly looks for loopholes, just to avoid admitting that the success simply wouldn’t have happened without you.
In the introduction, the author outlines the key traits of people with imposter syndrome and divides them into several types:
- The Perfectionist
- The Superwoman/Superman
- The Natural Genius
- The Rugged Individual
- The Expert
Each of these types has its own unique path for how the syndrome develops and manifests. The book even includes a short quiz to help you determine whether you might have imposter syndrome and which type you fall into.
The author then explores why imposter syndrome has become so widespread in recent years. One of the key contributing factors, she argues, is the influence of celebrities and social media. People constantly follow successful individuals and aspire to be like them. But the reality is very different from the image they project. On social media, people typically share only what they want others to see—mostly positive highlights: success stories, flattering photos (sometimes edited), and accounts of joyful moments. This filtered content creates the illusion of a world where everyone is constantly succeeding. In reality, that’s far from the truth. But those curated moments become the standard, the idol, the ideal that others strive toward. And yet, no one is perfect.
When a person’s reality does not match the glossy digital illusion they post on their profiles, they feel that they are an imposter. They feel a fraud because, effectively, they are a fraud. They are posting edited highlights, so everyone thinks they lead a charmed existence. They, of course, know otherwise – hence they feel like an imposter.
In today’s society, we’re constantly encouraged to showcase only our successful side—as if the other side doesn’t exist at all.
Statistically, imposter syndrome was once believed to affect women more often, especially following the push for gender equality. This was attributed to lingering stereotypes and outdated views on women’s roles in society. However, in the very next chapter, Sandi Mann examines how the syndrome manifests in men as well—though men are less likely to talk about it, fearing that admitting such thoughts would make them appear weak. When you factor in this silence, the gender difference largely disappears. It turns out that everyone is affected more or less equally.
In the final chapters, the author shifts her focus to children and parents. Children can develop imposter syndrome due to unhelpful beliefs instilled during childhood. As for parents, they often fall victim to the immense societal pressure that screams at them from every angle about how to be the “perfect” parent. When real life doesn’t match those idealized standards, they internalize the blame—“It’s my fault,” “I’m a bad mom/dad.”
And that’s more or less where the book ends. There are a few “tips and strategies” for coping with imposter syndrome, but they’re fairly high-level. They offer some useful perspectives on how to reframe certain thoughts or experiences, but they won’t necessarily give someone with imposter syndrome the sense of validation or confidence they’re looking for. Personally, it was my wife and close friends who helped me the most during those tough moments—not strategies from a book.
That said, if you’re someone who deals with imposter syndrome, don’t despair. The more successful people become, the more likely they are to overanalyze themselves. For example:
Olive Cabana, author of The Charisma Myth, found that when asking a room of new students at Stanford Business School the question ‘How many of you in here feel that you are the one mistake that the admissions committee made?’, two-thirds raised their hands.
So, as Sandi Mann herself puts it:
You see, it is generally people experiencing a degree of success in their lives that are triggered to feel like imposters, so the chances are that if you suffer from IS you are probably fairly good at what you do.
In addition, always remember that you are not alone in feeling this way, and take heart from this. IS is so common – we have referred to the statistic of up to 70 per cent of us feeling this way at some point in our lives – that it is actually more ‘normal’ to think you are an imposter than not. In any group of people, it is very likely that there are several ‘imposters’, so please bring this to mind if you are in a situation where you feel like a fake to help you combat any feelings of isolation.
The book is definitely interesting from the perspective of exploring the phenomenon itself, and it does offer some advice on how to start addressing the self-criticism that often comes with impostor syndrome. But I wouldn’t set high expectations for it as a full-on solution.
My rating: 3/5
