Sasha Galitsky “Mama, Don’t Worry!”

Interestingly, the book Mama, Don’t Worry! by Sasha Galitsky was given to me by my wife. Not with any specific intent, she just liked the description, and she knows that in recent years I’ve been very interested in the topic of growing up (see my previous post, which touches on this as well—We Will Sing With the Voices).

The book has a subtitle: How to Learn to Communicate with Elderly Parents Without Losing Your Own Mind? It’s not that my parents are elderly yet (may they outlive us all), nor that I’m losing my mind when talking to them. But it’s interesting to explore why this issue might arise at all, and where I might end up in my own “development.”

The author of the book, Sasha Galitsky, has been living in Israel for many years, where he has spent over fifteen years working with elderly people (ranging in age from 80 to 100 years old) in a nursing home. He decided to share his experience of interacting with them.

It’s no secret that the “problem of parents and children” is an eternal one. At some point, generations stop understanding each other, and in the worst cases, this misunderstanding turns into irritation and conflict. We all know there’s an explanation for this, intellectually at least, but emotionally, it’s not so easy to grasp. For us, our parents remain the same figures they were when we were children—the strong, protective presence we relied on. Meanwhile, to them, we are still their little kids, far from fully grown.

The entire book is structured as a series of questions and answers: one chapter, one question (which is the title of the chapter), and one answer. The questions are quite varied, such as “Why do they behave like children?”, “Why do they hold on to old things and avoid buying new ones?”, “Why is it so hard for us to communicate with elderly parents?” and so on.

Sasha Galitsky builds his answers based on his experiences with the elderly, as well as on his personal theory of their actions, which is quite interesting. There are certain behaviors and motivations I had never seriously considered, though many of them seem quite logical once you look at the world and circumstances surrounding elderly people the right way.

The book is actually quite small. Out of its 180 pages, roughly a quarter or even a third is taken up by the author’s illustrations. Each chapter has one or two images, and the font is large. The language is light and engaging. You could even finish it in one sitting, but I couldn’t (I’ll explain why below).

Each chapter is only a few pages long, so it becomes clear that the book feels more like a collection of short blog posts bound together under one cover. Moreover, in some answers, the author repeats himself, which is usually fine for spaced-out blog entries but feels a bit redundant in a book.

The answers and interpretations of elderly behavior are certainly interesting. But as for how useful they are—it’s hard for me to say. Some things people can figure out on their own, while others may be difficult to accept, even with understanding. It requires years of practice, and not everyone will be ready for that. The core messages, however, are consistent throughout:

• Don’t take offense.
• Accept things as they are.
• Understand that at some point, people start moving in reverse, back toward childhood.

But why couldn’t I finish the book in one go? Because it’s incredibly sad! Of course, the author didn’t intend for it to be this way—on the contrary, he tries to show that many elderly people are much happier than younger ones. But I’m not elderly yet, so reading and realizing what awaits me was quite depressing. I guess I’m not yet wise enough to take comfort in it.

You read a couple of chapters, and it plunges you into melancholy and a touch of depression. But you pick it up again after a break.

I definitely recommend the book to everyone. It really helps to better understand certain moments, including in your own behavior. But in terms of the practical usefulness of the advice, I’m not so sure. That’s why my overall rating isn’t too high. I had a very mixed reaction to this book—very mixed.

My rating: 3.5/5