Let’s set aside the serious topics for now and talk about something even more serious—have you mastered driving in Cyprus or not?

You’ve probably become a full-fledged Cypriot driver if the following statements apply to you.

1. You never use your indicator—unless you accidentally hit the lever.
2. The “Stop” sign is just a variation of a “Yield” sign to you.
3. You’re convinced the stop line at intersections is supposed to be behind your car.
4. You’re convinced that you’ve done ‘everything possible’ to give way to the car on the main road if you pull out directly in front of it, blocking at least half of the lane, but most importantly — you STOPPED to let it pass (even though it’s now impossible for anyone to get through because of you).
5. You never slow down or check for other vehicles when entering a main road.
6. When turning right from a side road, you calmly pull out into the center, blocking the way for everyone coming from the right (remember — it’s LEFT-HAND driving, like in the UK). And those who had to stop because of you DON’T GET ANNOYED!
7. You know for sure that a red traffic light means “you can go if you really need to.” Even if the police are nearby.
8. You calmly drive through a red pedestrian light (not at an intersection, but specifically for pedestrian crossings) if the pedestrian has already crossed or there’s no one at all. Just like the previous situation — even if the police are nearby.
9. You park your car in any available space, whether it’s a street corner, a sidewalk, the opposite lane, or two spaces at once — after all, your car just looks better taking up both spots.
10. You feel entirely entitled to stop right in the middle of the road if you spot a friend driving toward you. Of course, you’ll chat through the open windows for a good 5-10 minutes. The cars behind you? Well, meeting a friend is far more important!
11. Double solid line? What’s that? You can’t cross it? Oh, come on! See, even the police officer stopped to let me through!
12. You’re sure that moving at 5 cm per second at an intersection doesn’t count as actual movement, and therefore allows you to turn even on a red light.
13. You can comfortably block someone else’s car without leaving your phone number. And if someone blocks your car, you would never bother calling the large number displayed under their windshield.
14. You never pay at a paid parking spot using a parking meter.
15. You consider it normal to leave your car parked all day during summer with the windows open for ventilation. Sometimes, you even leave the keys in the ignition, just in case your car might block someone from exiting.
16. If you need to get out of your car, you abruptly swing open the door without checking the mirrors to see if someone is coming from behind.
17. In heavy rain on the highway, you turn on your hazard lights, drastically reduce your speed, or even stop completely by the side of the road.
18. You don’t care about scratches and dents on your car. And if you happened to bump or scratch someone else’s car? Well, even less so!
19. You have a perfect sense of timing and confidently maintain the necessary 0.1-second interval before honking at the car in front of you, signaling that the light turned green 0.1 seconds ago.
20. You know that if you honk long enough at cars stuck in traffic or behind an obstacle, either the obstacle will magically vanish, or the cars in front will disappear into thin air.
21. You always talk on the phone while driving. Always! Without it, the car just doesn’t run as smoothly.
22. If you ever get the feeling that you might be doing something wrong (whether while driving or parking), simply turning on your hazard lights instantly absolves you of all responsibility.

I’m sure there’s more to add… I’ll keep working on it myself, or maybe I’ll update it with suggestions from the comments.